2013-12-05-bm

Science Kills

Please don’t forget that I wrote these summerish 2014 (actually finished & posted 2/26/16) when I was in a real way afraid of writing about trans stuff, taking any kind of stand, and also feeling alone a lot of the time. Trans friends I had were all online, I was totally unsure of how far I could trust any of them/you, and I wanted very badly to connect with People Like Me in person and had no clue of how to do that. This is a relic of that.

This is also an homage to a really good venison sausage I had once, very late at night, outside the gothic club Elysium in Austin

2013-12-04-bm

Karaoke

I don’t like the joke here–it’s like the classic webcomix turn where the joke is just that one character is passively upset by the “extreme” behavior of the other, which is neither funny nor Hegelian (if the two can truly be separated!) But I do kinda like the first panel as a stab in the direction of trying to draw human figures with a brush, but small, and in an environment. I would like to go further in this direction, with other projects, if I can.

One more story in this sequence and then it is on to the next sequence. (uploaded 2/24/16)

2013-12-03-bm

No Basis for Discussion

More ancient comics (this one actually uploaded February 23, 2016) that I am putting online for completeness! I think this one already appeared in Rocksalt Magazine at one point last year with a different, extremely hasty “color job.” These are the canonical weird color values. You’ve maybe also seen this one (as well as like, ten or so other ones, in various stages of completion) if you are a Patreon subscriber, and why would you not be.

2013-12-02-bm

Have You Read Nevada

Ha ha um okay let me tell you a little something about ol’ Jeanne

She wrote this comic in I think July 2014 or something, after being on a book tour that was a formative experience in her life. Imogen Binnie, author of Nevada, was also on this tour, and Jeanne was totally intimidated by her and her work but also really really enjoyed hanging out with her and was like “hey I will do a fun shoutout in my comic to get over this intimidation some and also make a fun joke about how lots of trans women have read Nevada so it is sort of a way to meet people maybe??”

Then it took her until February 22, 2016 to finish the comic, and the “joke,” which was not that great to begin with, has become just incomprehensible, because every trans woman has read Nevada and everyone knows about Nevada and rather than being modish and fun for a specific person, this is just sort of embarrassing

“hey do you like THE BEATLES??” “i’ve been MEANING to listen to their rocks”

The lesson: if rather than work / you wait from anxiety / the world will not care / bout yr antique piety

I am sorry imogen that this did not come out when it would have been more charming :(

2013-12-01-bm

Reality Choke

INTERTEXTUALITY

This is the start of a little storyline, but do not HOLD YOUR BREATH for the next couple since I am in the process of moving house to New Orleans, and the rest of the strips aren’t altogether done yet, you understand

I am aware that like every strip has been about Mona and Cathy lately and this is no exception, but I don’t know–for a long time I couldn’t really write this strip and writing about Mona and Cathy gets me back into it, so there you are

that is all i have to say rn

2013-11-20-bm

Quelles Miserables

BOOK CHAT again! I do love old things but Victor Hugo is not really one of them

The dates these are supposedly posted obviously have nothing to do with reality–I think I was reading Les Miserables sometime around April or May of 2014, just finished this strip in October finally, posted it November 2013.

I swear there are some strips involving Betty and school coming up soon! It’s not all just Cathy and Mona being sassy with one another. Although most likely the next five strips are gonna be about Cathy and Mona being sassy with one another, so brace for that.

2013-11-15-bm

Awful Tumbles

I drew most of this strip back in like October of last year and have been leery of putting it up ever since, to a degree greater than I am leery of putting forth anything I write or do. The most recent thing I have worried about: the reaction to Jessica Udischas’s awesome Manic Pixie Nightmare Girl, specifically this strip, which got her banned from posting to reddit’s r/transgender. That is awful and I’m mad at everyone who gave her shit about the strip, because it’s sad and really beautiful and I feel really really fortunate never to have experienced anything as bad as what she’s drawn, and expecting people who do experience shit because of their identity on a regular basis to somehow magically rise above that shit so you can feel comfortable that Everything Is Okay is NO GOOD.

About this strip specifically, or I dunno why I am leery of it: I’ve been really fortunate to retain a lot of cis friends after transitioning. It sucks to have that be something that I can consider myself fortunate about because it’s not really the norm. But at the same time, this privilege differential is real, I did watch the way I was treated change in subtle ways that line up in wackily coincidental fashion with the overall ways society is structured, and I end up thinking more often than I’d like to admit: if it came down to it, like if I did something that pissed this person off or something, at what point would they use my being trans against me? At what point would they reveal that All Along they were tolerating/humoring me rather than actually believing me? To what extent am I a joke or humorous detail to people I like and trust when I am not present?

I don’t think this is an irrational fear. And a lot of the time in late 2013 I had pretty much Cathy’s experience: spending hours reading tumblr as my primary point of contact with Other Trans Women and feeling the grim sense after it, when I spent time with cis friends, of whatever this emotion resolves to: it’s only a matter of time before this breaks down. It’s only a matter of time before I become a problem for these people. Maybe it has happened already.

I don’t think this as often anymore–honestly because I have met and spent time with more trans women since 2013 and I do kind of feel like I’d have A Place To Go To in terms of human contact if things got bad, which puts less immediate strain on friendships with cis people, same way maybe that knowing you have enough money to survive for a few months if you quit your job tomorrow makes it easier to go to that job. But I do still think it, and there is not a way not to think it, and it is one of the grimmest parts about being trans: the inextinguishable paranoia that at any moment, it can turn into trans vs. cis, that maybe everyone is waiting for that moment. If you think this is crazy and that I should get over it, I encourage you to step into the mysterious cabinet that lets you live as a trans person for the next 24 hours and get back to me on this idea.

Mona, as written, is not gonna (intentionally anyway) be a jerk to Cathy in this way, which I know with 100% certainty because I write her. But I mean Cathy doesn’t know that about Mona, just as I don’t know that about other people I know whom I don’t write dialogue for (though the people I *do* write dialogue for are okay is the thing), just as they don’t know that about me when we’re on opposite sides of other privilege differentials. Yet their friendship is of long standing and overall social forces are not a metric one can use to evaluate a specific connection between people. And it’s not like Mona is fucking up here in any way, except in the general ways that she is a fuckup. THE WORLD IS FUCKING UP IS MORE THE THING AND WE ARE ALL CAUGHT IN ITS WEB.

I don’t know I’ll just post this, maybe other people have had the fun experience of feeling extra depressed and alienated after reading tumblr and harboring suspicions of everyone they know who does not share their context

2013-11-05-bm

Careful Balance, Overturned

All this mostly makes me think I need to be working more on the CLIMACTIC ADVENTURE of my own D&D campaign; it involves a lot of centaurs and a vineyard probably burning down is all I can say

I am not crazy about the inking in that last panel, but I wrote and penciled these D&D comics like ACTUALLY LITERALLY A YEAR AGO (posting this on September 10, 2014) and am glad they are finally done

2013-11-04-bm

Add Yr Modifier

Ha ha that Cathy is such an asshole

If you are not hip to the conversation, this owes much to the best Chick tract there is.

I swear I will one day post comics at a regular rate, as soon as I figure out to not have it just be another job I do in addition to my job

I’m really curious about what character class / race combo Mona is even playing here, honestly, but I would also like to play this character maybe

2013-11-03-bm

Magic Item Compendium

This one is just crude / my favorite part is the idea that they make Cathy DM for this kinda stuff. Having DMed weird creepy situations and BEEN A PLAYER in weird creepy situations, I do not know how she would handle it, though I guess with quiet resignation?

I dig Inez’s pants too, even though it’s more a casualty of this world only being rendered currently in two colors for Reasons than like she’s *actually* wearing yellow pinstripe pants probably

Okay there are gonna be a couple more D&D strips and then we move on to converting the like twenty gazillion scripts I’ve been sitting on most of this year into whimsies for y’all

(oh crap i published a book also, it’s over on the sidebar, or you can pick up a copy here! you can also listen to a recording of me singing Born to Run with chiptune accompaniment by K Carter on that site if you’re down for that kinda thing) (I am even though I’m not a great singer) (but I have HEART, I think) (moxie)