Yes I was planning this all along. WHAT OTHER TRAPS HAVE I LAID FOR YOU, THE READER?
So I have two new books, plus a backlog of older books! Should you buy them?? This INFORMATIVE PHOTO-ESSAY will tell you!
Here is a DANGEROUS GREASER taking a break from a hard day of subwoofer installation and tuning up her torque to have a "cold one" and read the newly released BOOK FIVE, with thirty-two pages of ACTION and featuring a BONUS STORY starring the enigmatic BOAT GIRL. A SATISFIED CUSTOMER!
Even in faraway Milledgeville, Georgia, recently struck by a TERRIBLE TORNADO, this no-nonsense survivor of a lost American aristocracy tries to hang on to what is truly important in her ruined world. And what better way to do this than with BOOK FOUR, now boasting a new cover and forty pages of NON-STOP SARDONIC WIT and METAPHYSICAL DANGER? Even in the shadow of tragedy, here we see a SATISFIED CUSTOMER.
In the posh Upper West Side, a youthful debutante relaxes at home before a gay night socializing in various clubs and restaurants, whiling away the idle hours of her rosy-cheeked youth. The only thing that can sweeten the promise of her night is the classic BOOK THREE, featuring forty-eight pages of delight plus a GLOOMY INTRODUCTION. The only way this customer could be more SATISFIED is if an ENCHANTED STRANGER were to whisk her way across a crowded Manhattan ballroom!!!
In the terrifying backwoods of Louisiana, land of SPIRITS and VOODOO, a teenage witch relaxes in pastoral surroundings with the all time classic BOOK TWO, featuring twenty-eight pages of COMIC THRILLS related in the SECRET TRADITION. We had better hope this is a SATISFIED CUSTOMER or else we will all break out in FESTERING BOILS from her dreadful art!
Oh no! Since there are no more copies of BOOK ONE remaining in the world, this is a truly UNSATISFIED CUSTOMER. Eventually her concerns will be addressed, as soon as uncaring market forces align themselves to best profit off of her seething class rage.
All of these will be available at the Rocksalt table at STAPLE! Independent Media Expo, starting TODAY, March 3 and running through TOMORROW, March 4, and culminating with the Fiction Circus Blue Team taking the lobby at 7 pm for a reading of illegal fiction. Please come down! (Some books also available at Tribe on Manchaca Road in Austin, even now.)