We had a few bellinis sent up and Henry Miller showed me the proper way to peel an orange with one long stroke of your knife. I wondered out loud if Henry Miller's writing could technically be considered fiction, since it seemed like he wanted everyone to believe it. He made like he was going to punch me, but instead he lit a cigarette.



Then Henry Miller corrected my golf swing. Then he told my fortune. Evidently, I should fear water. He saw I wasn't laughing, and he said:

"Heh, that's a joke kid. They always tell you to fear water. But you shouldn't. They are talking about the sea of love and ecstasy that kills us all. You shouldn't fear it, even as you dive right in."

I asked him if anybody ever gave him shit about his middle name being "Valentine." He asked me if anybody ever gave me shit about hanging out in private bathrooms with old men and looking at ancient pornography.

I didn't answer that question.



HENRY MILLER'S "BATHROOM MONOLOGUE THREE" BREAKDOWN:

00:44 He appears to have been kicked by a "blameworthy" mule.

02:54 That's the sort of thing that Gurdjieff could do? I can get a thirteen year old kid drunk, Henry Miller. That is not exactly enigmatic.

04:16 That sign says "Even Nice People Get Syphilis." That's why you come into your bathroom and find women staring at that section of your wall. Their minds are...uh...racing.

04:43 Henry Miller will bite you if you look at him wrong. He will bite the lips right off you.

04:57 Why, it is a naked woman!

05:19 Yeah, yeah. Hmmmm. Hmmmm.

07:11 Especially if you are going senile.

08:30 I believe it can be argued with some ease that sex gives Henry Miller his entire sense of self and identity. Perhaps he should not be emulated?

09:50 Henry Miller Sage's secret identity is Henry Miller Asshole!

*FLUSH!*

***

Epilogue:



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Posted by miracle on Fri, 16 May 2008 17:16:07 -0400 -- permanent link