British author Rose Tremain has been declared the winner of the 12th Annual Coca-Cola-Verizon-Cheetos Book Prize for Ladies. Mrs. Tremain's book is called "The Road Home" and it is about a shy Eastern European man named Lev who is trying to get by in a world he does not understand.



This is her tenth novel. Mrs. Tremain says she was born with a vagina, and there has AS OF YET been no need to check her medical records. The Coca-Cola-Verizon-Cheetos Book Prize is controversial because only ladies can win it. While others contend that it is controversial for other reasons, their criticisms can be brushed aside as lightly as a starving puppy with Malaria.

"I do not care that this prize is subsidized by the same kind of multinational corporation currently raping the world, including Eastern Europe, the source of my novel's sympathy," said Mrs. Tremain, tacitly. "It is time for art once again to have brutal patrons with chiseled jaws and cold miens who own and finance the construction of all great things, including narrative, including dissent."

You get 60,000 pounds (money) for the Coca-Cola-Verizon-Cheetos Prize, which is more than any prize I ever heard of. Congratulations, Mrs. Tremain! Mmmmmmmmmm...Cheetos!

CORRECTION: Evidently, this prize is no longer sponsored by Coca-Cola, Verizon Wireless, and Cheetos. Now it is sponsored by Orange Broadband, now available in Cameroon. Mmmmmmmmmm...Broadband!

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Posted by miracle on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 11:39:24 -0400 -- permanent link