NEW STORY: "Rump," by HJ Hampson
It is Spring! Now is the time of year when you gather up all the people you have been eyeballing all winter and you get them together in a warm place, getting them all drunk, hoping they will fling off all their clothes and fall madly in love with you. Then you can take your pick once you see them emotionally and physically naked. What could be more fun than choosing a mate for the Hot Season like snatching a spawning salmon out of a net?


What could be more fun than the thrill of a gathered group of strangers, all of whom know the "host" and who fall all over themselves to ingratiate in accordance with the whims of the fragile social majority? WHIMS WHICH ARE NOT EXPLICIT BUT WHICH MUST BE EXTRACTED FROM THE AIR THE SAME WAY THAT PERUVIAN CACTUSES SUCK FOG!!!!


What could be more fun than ruthless judgment from your peers and loved ones while you become as disoriented and useless as possible from all the sex chemicals and drugs?

As your friends encourage you to be at your worst, you must instead resist all temptation and be at your best, or suffer the cruelest consequences. Can you walk the razor? Can you walk the razor in heels or a necktie?

Today, we bring you HJ Hampson's "Rump," a brilliant fucking story that starts where most good people end up during bad parties. It starts in the bathroom...

Rump is a British term that mostly means "ass," but it can also mean "remnant," such as the Parliament left behind after being purged by King Charles the 1st.

Rump steak = remnant steak

Rump steak =/= ass steak

Rump also sounds like "romp," a word which means: TIME TO PARTY!!!!!

Posted by miracle on Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:29:29 -0500 -- permanent link

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