The Overton Window: A Review
Glenn Beck's new young adult novel "The Overton Window" is so cool. It is just like "The Da Vinci Code," except with kids problems that a kid could understand. It really tells a powerful story that is very important. I think it will be a bestseller and be a number one book.

The story in "The Overton Window" is the story of this kid named Noah who has a very evil dad. His dad is named Arthur and he lies for a living. He owns a PR company and he has his own private elevator and he doesn't like people. He thinks people are stupid and need to be controlled, or otherwise they will bury women in holes like in Turkey.

Noah's dad is so evil that he even makes college kids want to be serial killers and he even invents restless leg syndrome:

On a dare, Noah's father had once boasted that he could transform some of the century's most brutal killers into fashion statements among the peace-loving American counter-culture. And he'd done it: here were pictures of clueless college students, rock stars, and Hollywood icons proudly featuring the romanticized images of Chairman Mao and Che Guevara.

Drugs weren't so very different from other products; it was all just a matter of creating the need. If you hear about restless-leg syndrome often enough, one day soon you might start to believe that you've got it. Cha-ching; another job well done.

One day Noah meets this beautiful girl named Molly who works for his evil dad. He and Molly fall in love at first sight, because Molly looks just like Natalie Portman.

Molly takes Noah to a meeting about guns and Jews, where Noah is arrested for being a terrorist along with Molly. It turns out Molly is a terrorist who believes in liberty and wants to kill rich people. Molly shoots big guns and her best friend is named Hollis who is a mountain man and writes books about how to build grenade launchers.

After they get out of jail, Noah and Molly have a big, fun evening where Molly teaches Noah about liberty and then they go home and sleep together, except instead of having a sex date they just hold hands and wear each other's clothes. According to Molly, liberty doesn't mean doing what you want, like living in a log cabin, liberty instead means fighting the government with guns. Molly is mad at Noah's dad and she tries to convince Noah that his dad is evil, even though Noah already knows his dad is evil. Molly tries to convince Noah that his dad is so evil that they both need to do something about him, like hit him in his mean face or maybe sit on him.

Noah's dad Arthur hates people so much that he wants them all to be controlled. He thinks the best way to control them is through technology and global government. Arthur thinks the only way people will let him control them, though, is if he blows up Las Vegas with a nuclear bomb. If people are scared that their own town might blow up, then they will let Noah's dad rape them with predator drones.

I bet Glenn Beck hates his dad. I bet when Glenn Beck thinks about his dad he sees a big angry man with bushy eyebrows and blue eyes and he is afraid of him. I bet he wants to punch him in his mean face or sit on him.


But, luckily, there are beautiful women out there named Molly who might someday save Glenn Beck and teach him to lie down in bed and hold hands.

Also, just so you know, The Overton Window is not a real window. It just means that "the ends move the middle." Such as how extreme people make normal people feel good about being normal. Or maybe it means that extreme people make normal people feel good about being extreme. Like if you have a friend who is a woman (like Molly (or like Natalie Portman)), then it is okay to like other women, too.

One time, because Molly looks like Natalie Portman, Noah dresses her up like Natalie Portman in order to get her to go on a plane. I wonder if Natalie Portman knows that Glenn Beck thinks about her often in a sexy way?

She sat up and looked over, with one of her newly perfect eyebrows slightly upraised in a regal but skeptical arch. Noah gave her the baseball cap and his sunglasses to complete the disguise. She put them on, pulled up her hood, and checked her reflection in the silver side of the napkin holder.

"Perfect," he said. "Absolutely perfect. Oh, wait." He took her makeup kit and searched through its contents until he found a small dark pencil with a dull tip. "Lean your face over here." Molly did and he carefully went to work. "Natalie has got two little tiny beauty marks, one here...and one...over here." He leaned back, squinted, and studied his masterpiece.

This book was written very good. It is written in a way that you can understand, not like a way that is too hard to read. It made me think about lots of things, and I liked it alot when Glenn Beck talked about the way Molly's breasts are. It made think about how Natalie Portman's breasts are.

Also, I liked the character of Danny Bailey, who is a famous talk-show host who has been through a lot of shit and who used to have a drug and alcohol problem until he found Jesus and started the Glenn Beck Show on FOX.

I thought some of the sex stuff in the book was scary because usually you don't have to imagine the writers of books doing the kissing, but I don't think it would be fun to kiss Glenn Beck on the mouth because I have seen him on TV and he is kind of scary and sometimes he starts crying, and I don't think that would be fun if you were trying to have sex with him. You might get tears in your vagina or maybe in your asshole.

But maybe Glenn Beck's tears in your asshole would burn like Thomas Jefferson's anger at kings and injustice!

I also thought some of the ideas in the book were weird. On one hand, this book is saying that the plan of global elites is to frame domestic terrorists as dangerous stupid people in order to justify taking away their "God" or "liberty." On the other hand, it FEELS like this book was written for domestic terrorists in order to make them mad and to take action against their government or rich people. Kind of like telling the stupid kid in class to rub boogers on the teacher's desk so that he gets in trouble!

It says this in the back of the book, which I found confusing:

This book is your simulator. It's unlikely that we'll face anything close to the challenges that Noah and Molly are up against. But, after experiencing their scenario in a fictional setting, maybe it will become a little easier to have deeper conversations about the important forces that are actually at work in the real world.

But if the stupid kid in class rubs boogers on the teacher's desk, then none of us will get free playtime or extra recess. I think Glenn Beck wants us to hate the teacher as much as he hates his dad. But I don't think it is nice to tell the stupid kid to rub boogers on the teachers desk, and I think Glenn Beck should just be the stupid kid's friend, or leave him alone, instead of trying to get him in trouble.

I guess if Las Vegas gets blown up by a nuclear bomb, though, rich people like Noah's dad did it, and not the people who did it and not Glenn Beck. This is a good message to have in a book, because I guess Glenn Beck wants us not to like rich people.

Still it is confusing for kids!!!

Does that mean that he doesn't want us to pay for his book so that Glenn Beck will not get rich and not be the kind of person who he wants us not to like, because if we don't like him, then how can we trust him when he tells us not to like rich people, and then our minds would explode!

My mind almost exploded trying to write that sentence!

In conclusion, this book was very good and very important.

And that is the end of my book review of Glenn Beck's new number one novel "The Overton Window!"

Posted by miracle on Mon, 13 Sep 2010 17:33:58 -0500 -- permanent link

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