Show Recap: "About last night..."
Last night's show was pretty fucking fun. We busted out the big-screen projector and showed stag shorts that we filmed in a Long Island City basement, and we held an "Erotic Lincoln" contest, where we saw who could draw the sexiest version of Abraham Lincoln in one minute.

The winner (MISS ALISHA LEVIN) drew a paunchy, hairy-chested Lincoln wearing a "SLAVERY" chastity belt. We gave this version the prize because of the deeper symbolism: Lincoln's log could not be "free" until the slaves were free. Miss Levin received a cookbook featuring Harry Potter pornography and recipes for grilled cheese sandwiches.

Bill Cheng read a story called "Doubles," about twins who ate mussels and bargained for the best price on a barbecue pit. Xerxes Verdammt read a story called "Complicity Meets God," about a young Jewish girl who stood up in defense of a young Jewish boy and realized that not even the Torah is immune from the practice of sophistry.

Dr. Future read a selection from a longer work entitled "A Horatio Alger Story," about a young rich boy who was both saved and abducted by a charming family of imaginative Californians, one of whom was a struggling novelist.

And then, once we were all good and drunk and all the MFA students were gone, I read a story called "The Gas Bet," about a high-stakes highway chase between a group of professional gamblers and a pair of Elvis impersonators.

The stories were good, but only because of the piano music and laser harping of Goodman Carter, who was in top form. Everybody just watched him, wondering what he would do next. He did not take his pants off and start playing the laser harp with his giant balls, but he could have done so and no one would have called the cops. WE WERE THAT SPELLBOUND.

Afterwards, we all drank cream ale and went out for hamburgers. We talked about Spinoza and made fun of a poetry magazine that Verdammt had stolen. We also composed a lengthy poem about yesterday's plane crash. The poem was topical and did not have a consistent meter nor any well-developed metaphors.

Posted by miracle on Fri, 16 Jan 2009 14:13:33 -0500 -- permanent link

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