If You Want Literary Magazines to Take You Seriously, You Need to Know the Difference Between a Dash and a Hyphen
from Chris Roberts
to miraclejones@fictioncircus.com
date Thu, Mar 25, 2010 at 8:55 PM
subject "The Editor as a Goodbye"
mailed-by croberts7@nyc.rr.com

hide details 8:55 PM (22 hours ago)

Editor Type,

Those that can, write - those that can't, edit. Hanging yourself will eliminate this unpleasant reality.

Chris Roberts, Writer




from Miracle Jones
to Chris Roberts
date Thu, Mar 25, 2010 at 10:58 PM
subject "Re: The Editor as a Goodbye"
mailed-by miraclejones@fictioncircus.com

hide details 10:58 PM (20 hours ago)

Weird. You don't know the difference between a dash and a hyphen. I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD EDITOR! HAW HAW HAW!

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com




from Chris Roberts
to Miracle Jones
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 11:07 AM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by croberts7@nyc.rr.com

hide details 10:26 AM (8 hours ago)

I do know the difference between a dash and a hyphen - I CHOOSE TO USE A DASH. How do you like them apples twat breath? You don't, do you hymen eyes.

Chris Roberts




from Miracle Jones
to Chris Roberts
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 10:26 AM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by miraclejones@fictioncircus.com

hide details 10:35 AM (8 hours ago)

Actually, you chose to use a hyphen. You DON'T know the difference between a dash and a hyphen.

Here, read this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyphen

Cheers,

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com



from Miracle Jones
to Chris Roberts
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 10:35 AM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by miraclejones@fictioncircus.com

hide details 11:07 AM (7 hours ago)

At least you are consistent with your mistake:

http://www.hackwriters.com/NewYorker.htm

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com



from Chris Roberts
to Miracle Jones
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 2:06 PM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by croberts7@nyc.rr.com

hide details 2:06 PM (5 hours ago)

Nobody takes you seriously - I know, you're a pig twat. Fiction Circus - you got that right. Ah, the lowly zine that is your destiny tampon breath.

Chris Roberts




from Chris Roberts
to Miracle Jones
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 2:17 PM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by croberts7@nyc.rr.com

hide details 2:17 PM (4 hours ago)

Sounds like your cum drunk - best to lay off the 25 inch cocks. Humiliated? That's you as you get hit up the ass on a webcam and wave to your mother while you sphincter is busted out yet again.

Chris Roberts




from Miracle Jones
to Chris Roberts
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 2:25 PM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by miraclejones@fictioncircus.com

hide details 2:25 PM (4 hours ago)

I can't parse these sentences. Is "drunk-best" one word or two ? And I think that should be "your sphincter" not "you sphincter." And also "you're cum drunk" not "your cum drunk." No wonder you don't like editors so much! You are barely literate!

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com



from Chris Roberts
to Miracle Jones
date Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 2:29 PM
subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
mailed-by croberts7@nyc.rr.com

hide details 2:29 PM (4 hours ago)

Barely literate would be your high yellow mother - parse that titty breath.

Chris Roberts




Miracle Jones to Chris

show details 2:39 PM (4 hours ago)

I can't! It is actually impossible! What is a "high yellow mother-parse"? That's just word salad! I want you to insult me well. I want to fear you and feel some kind of awe and terror. But that takes good writing. Check out Harlan Ellison or Charles Bukowski for tips.

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com



Chris Roberts to me

show details 3:20 PM (3 hours ago)

Zine Slob - Sounds like you like to get slapped around and arround in surround sound. Get your little buckwheat brother to do it.

Chris Roberts




Miracle Jones to Chris

show details 3:38 PM (3 hours ago)

Alright; alright, I get it. This is a fun "editor" game. Spot the careless typo.

Let me see here....hmmmm...OKAY! Got it. The second "around" has two "r's." You spelled it "arround." Hit me again. Can you get through ONE SENTENCE without making a grammatical, spelling, or usage mistake?

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com




Chris Roberts to me

show details 4:09 PM (3 hours ago)

Can you go one day without selling your broke ass for crack? How about a shower? I can smell your stank ass over the internet.

Chris Roberts




Miracle Jones to Chris

show details 5:00 PM (2 hours ago)

Good. You put three sentences together that scan. Though they are colloquial, I feel a unique voice here. I see no spelling or grammar mistakes. I am glad you are listening to me and taking my editorial advice. I'm also glad to see you've stopped using that damned hyphen. It is a punctuation mark that it is beyond your grasp for now.

Shelve it. You aren't ready for the hyphen or dash.

Now work on putting a story together. How is this character able to smell things through a computer? I feel that you are entering some kind of William Gibson / Bill Burroughs space here. Cyberpunk sex-stalking habits of the unemployed and voiceless? Could be interesting.

The thrill you get from reaching out and bothering people you don't know on the internet is ten times as potent if you can hone your craft and turn your anxiety into narrative that people will actually pay for.

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com




Chris Roberts to me

show details 6:22 PM (51 minutes ago)

Kotex,

I've read 3/4 of what you wrote, it's nothing but static. Your next e-mail I will read a half of and so on until you're are driven back under that rock you crawled from, its name - obscurity. You will receive only one word replies from now on, that's how easily you are dismissed. There you go CUNT.

Chris Roberts




Miracle Jones to Chris

show details 5:32 PM (1 hour ago)

Actually, you got in touch with me.

Alright, this one has a lot of problems. I would change "a half of" to simply "half of." In your second sentence, you have used the phrase "you're are" which ought to be just "you're."

"It's name-obscurity." This clause is all wrong. This should be a separate sentence, and it should read: "Its name: obscurity." I told you that you weren't ready for the hyphen. Now you are confusing it with the colon.

"That's how easily you are dismissed" should also be a separate sentence. Now, what one word reply do you have for me? I will match your one word -- word for word -- and I bet mine will be better. What do you want to bet?

Remember: empty threats make you look weak and childish. I only want one word here. I think this will be fun.

Ready, set, go!

--Miracle Jones
http://www.fictioncircus.com




Chris Roberts to me

show details 7:47 PM (16 minutes ago)

WEAK-LOSER.




Miracle Jones to Chris

show details 6:57 PM (0 minutes ago)

Triumph.


Posted by miracle on Fri, 26 Mar 2010 20:31:08 -0400 -- permanent link


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