A loose cabal of paranoids, the insane,"futurists," and fiction writers have begun offering their services to the United States government. Speculative fiction in the service of the state? A problem, perhaps?

H.G. Wells Would Fucking Ragepuke and Harlan Ellison Would Eat That Puke Out of "Rage Hunger"



These writers are your peers. They are your friends. They are good people. They just have some wrong ideas about the relationship between power and art.

"GODDAMIT, Generals, all you feed me is this uncreative bullshit!" said President Obama. "Look, those war robots we made can't be bargained with and your nuclear weapons are having no effect. Send in the writers!"

HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE COUGH COUGH HUSTLE

"Reporting for duty, SIR!" said Larry Niven.

"Those robots we made just ate Sweden for the manganese deposits," said President Obama. "I need a new creative solution."

"Oh FUCK," said Greg Bear, holding his head and starting to twitch. "Actions have consequences. New first law, everybody!"

"These robots were your idea," said President Obama. "And now you have to fix it."

"Maybe this can be taken care of with some kind of time hole," said Arlan Andrews.

"Time holes do not exist," said President Obama.

The writers began to laugh. They nudged each other and winked.

"A crisis of imagination at the highest levels," said Larry Niven smugly.

President Obama hung his head and sighed. He held up two fingers and then flexed them. The Marines in the bunker all raised their assault rifles.

"You are going to kill us?" said Greg Bear. "But we are trying to help!"

"You can't...you can't help the government," said President Obama, massaging his temples. "Look, everybody just close your eyes and think about the stars, and this will all be over soon. Look, I can't let you get to the media. You're not Shakespeare, folks. Alright, men. Aim for the brains."


Posted by miracle on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:15:36 -0400 -- permanent link